ANOTHER late night.

Date: May 10, 2025
Time: 04:31 AM

One of these days I'm gonna update this journal at a normal time, these late night updates are killing me. I mean you can tell, last entry ended with me cursing ASMR, where the hell did that come from?

If I hade to describe myself I'd say my most prominent feature is the massive purple rings around my eyes, it's no wonder I have them. I lose track of time so easily at night, it's shockingly easy to just melt into whatever I'm doing and just dissociate for a while.

I'm unsure if that's a good thing, it's awful being in my head alone for too long but I can't imagine escapism is too healthy.

Good news is later today I've been invited to a decidedly normal event, movie night with some friends of a friend. T'is maybe what I need right now, my core group doesn't go out all that much and although I'm fine with creeping around my house exclusively for large periods of time, I can't help but feel the creature feature that my life has become must see the sun's glare at least once a week.

That is not to say I don't go outside but I only do it for school currently, so it would be nice to tear myself from my hauntings grounds for a social call.

Take care of yourself Web Traveller, the most important thing is that you're comfortable as yourself. Also water and what have you.

Speaking of how you view yourself, I got snapchat recently. I've been informed it's how the non-creatury people interact, so here I am. I've got pretty bad skin, just part of the 17 year old's starter kit I guess, and my hairs kinda dumb too. Imagine a pile of split ends put on top of a head that reaches down just beneath the shoulders. Anyway my point is that I'm kind of ugly, that's all well and good. Have to make your peace with that everytime it stares you in the mirror, but all these avatar makers are really idealised and perfect looking. I can't help but feel weird about that, I don't like the idea of someone having this really smooth and perfect looking version of me in their heads. My friend thought it was kinda dumb when I brought it up but thats whatever. Bitmojis look stupid either way, I'd just rather my 'avatar' they force me to make actually looked like me, it's not fun at all having this ideal version of me that everyone sees.

Oh, there's good news though. My ENA plush is in the mail. Also I've talked my way into DM'ing for my friends, I've always quite liked writing and world building so it's a natural step. Big Disco Elysium fan so I can totally ape Robert Kurvitz exquisite use of metaphors to tinge my version of the campaigns with immersive desciptions.

Haven't gotten to study Goetia yet, not fully. Interested in proper going for a ceremony with my buddies, gotta be sure it's safe though. I'm not sure how much I believe in most Occult practices or Demonology, my interest is mostly speculative, but I can't rule it out for sure, plus Im paranoid.

Anyway you have a good night, Spookscape signing off

Im so fucking Normal right now

Date: May 11, 2025
Time: 02:58 AM

Today I did something explicitly normal. I hung out with friends and friends if friends, who may be just friends now but ive never been good at categorising stuff like that so idk.

It was a lot of fun, I'm generally scared of just about everyone but it was super chill honestly. I'm surprised at how well I adapted into a group setting.

Maybe the days in which I refer to myself as creature-esque are coming to an end.

It was embarrassing because I was hyping up evil dead 2 so much I forgot to mention its the cheesiest film ever so there was some whiplash and I had to watch as my film suggestion was met thoroughly lukewarm, super embarrassing but next time ill just suggest a more classicaly appealling horror flick, Hellraiser or even Evil Dead 2013 should be better picks maybe.

I spend so much time online that I forget that most people aren't super fixated on specific things, I've picked up a kind of obsession with my favourite movies or franchises that I'm desperately trying to make not off-putting

Anyway, I've been invited to the next group meet up. Huzzah.

Anyway, bon voyage weary web traveller. May your friends be many and your enemies few - Spookscape

Nothing happened today

Date: May 11, 2025
Time: 8:59 PM

Nothin' happened today, I've started playing Skyrim again. But as I type this out I realise that all I have done is add another game onto my enormous backlog.

Still haven't gotten back to Goeatia yet, also my Frankenstein book arrived. Frankenstein shall be the book I read whenever I'm out and about, I've seen the movies of course but never read the classic Mary Shelley book. So here we are.

i got invited skateboarding strangely enough, but that's cool i guess. If I wore more flannel I would totally pass for skater punk.

OH exam on thursday, 'bout four days from now. I'm not stressed, it's Applications of Math. Which to anyone not from the cesspit we generously call a country, the UK, Applications of Math is basically Math without the all the quadratics & triangles. So it's baby stuff, 2 days of revision and I'm set for an easy B. Possibly an A if I really lock in but that's unlikely. Whenever Im bored I can't find shit to do. When I'm studying my room becomes a palace of wonders with trinkets abound. Suddenly I'm compelled to get through my reading backlog.

I've got this theory that if I sit down and tell myself I'm going to study I could actually sit and reead for hours without getting bored. It's weird, I like reading but I can't do it for as long as I can watch or play movies or games. Instant gratification over long term reward and all that.

Anyway whenever this skips a day from here on out, just assume nothing happened I guess. Hopefully I do something fun this following week! Remember to buckle your seatbelt or whatever - Spookscape

Nothing happened today... again

Date: May 12, 2025
Time: 10:49 PM

Aight, I know I just said last entry that I wont update if nothing happens but maybe half a nothing happened today.

I decidedly didn't go to college, I've got a shit ton of free days I can redeem and I was up late last night having another mental crisis. A fun Sunday night tradition!

I've got something of a resistance to operating with little sleep but I realised that it was the time I would normally start getting up and I just wasn't up to it.

ENA plush arrived, realised I have no clue what a 17 year old would do with a plush toy other than sit it up on my desk. It's pretty cool regardless.

My 7 year old sister is obsessed with drawing competitions and since I got my drawing tablet and didnt have to suffer using my perpetually blunt pencils, I agreed. She REALLY wanted me to draw something cute but I was feeling a bit mischevous, prankster-esque even.

Anyway, here's the picture.

She didn't like it at all and I had to draw ena because she really liked the plush toy. That one I won't share because there's nothing really comedic about it.

Anyway I liked my funny monkey drawing, hope you did too - Spookscape

Nothing happened today

Date: May 18, 2025
Time: 04:47 AM

Hey all, been a while let's run a catch up shall we?

For my college course I've become a leader on a team, I suggested a lot of stuff there. Horror genre, dante's inerno pastiche, david lynch styled metaphorical story telling. I'm surprised how well I stepped up, often I considered myself very introverted but since i'm truly passionate about this kind of stuff, I've gotten to actually step up a bit.

Had my last exam, totally passed! So I'm free and can do shit after college, wanna go see that new final destination flick and the phoenician scheme.

I'm going skateboarding later today apparently, after the last big friend meet up i went to I have been invited skateboarding. Apparently it "fits me", also I got a vinyl player and Neutral Milk Hotel's God tier album; In The Aeroplane over the sea. Also Weezer's pinkerton is on order! As well as some clothes, trying to have a style that isnt basic. I'm getting more confident between my leadership role in college and having larger groups of friends. Apparently when I didnt show up to yesterdays meet up they were dissapointed and asked about me. They asked about me, that honestly means so much. I'm always worried that people hate me, I remember the last time I tried to ingratiate myself in a group I was told I was only there to make fun of me. It's really nice, it means the world.

Shit's looking up! There's a lot in life you can enjoy, just gotta search REALLY hard. So get your magnifying glass - Spookscape

Okay, now it's ACTUALLY been a while

Date: May 28, 2025
Time: 01:20 AM

So it's been about a week! Lot has changed in my stupid baka life since, I got into skateboarding. Got my own board in fact. Despite how scared I am of falling Im doing fine. Tried Weed for the first time, honestly wasn't worth the hype.

Been talking to alot of new people, online and off. So my big loneliness factor is gone, I fear some of what I define myself by has vanished too. You spend so long convinced you're this anti-social creature who's just indigestible to the masses that you feel strange when you go out and talk to people and realise you're not some anomaly. But what the hey! Absolute Martian Manhunter issue 3 comes out tomorrow! No time for existential crises. Y'all will just have to wait for the next entry for one of those, the dopamime coursing through me is dulling any negative vibes/vibrations

Don't know how to end this, it's late and I got college in the morning. Don't stay up this late kids, I look like a corpse constantly cause of this type of stuff. I mean it works for me but that's cause Im always slaying. This one got away from me... - Spookscape